A cat dies
and goes to heaven.
God meets him at the gate and says, 'You have been a good cat all these
years. You can have anything you desire, all you have to do is ask.'
Well,' said the cat, 'I lived all my life on a farm and had to sleep on
'Say no more,' says God and instantly a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to
heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer he made to the cat.
'All our life,' the mice say, 'we've had to run. Cats, dogs, women with
brooms have chased us. If we had roller skates, we wouldn't have to run any
God says he can take care of it and, instantly, each mouse is fitted with a
beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
A week later God checks on the cat, which is asleep on its pillow. God
gently nudges him awake and asks, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
'Never been happier,' says the cat, stretching and yawning. 'And those meals
on wheels you've been sending over are great.'
Lot's more of this guy's 1-2 minute rants
Click here or on DrinkinWBob
link near the top of the left side navigation bar.
Werner Herzog's 1977 feature
A man dies
and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.
says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You
tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of
points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100
points, you get in."
man says, "I attended church every Sunday"
"That's good, says St. Peter, " that's worth two points"
points?" he says. "Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church"
"Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth another 2 points. Did you do
points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and
worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's certainly worth a point, " he says.
the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never
cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by
the grace of God!"
"Come on in!"
bought himself a fancy new computer. He was showing it to Isaac one day.
"Look at all the wonderful programs it has on it. And look at all the neat
things it can do..."
Isaac was impressed, but a little concerned..."But dad, I don't think your
computer has enough memory."
Abraham said "Don't worry son; the Lord will provide the RAM."
Tom made this gif animation from 17 still photos that are
each optical illusions that appear to move. Nothing is actually moving, It
is just 17 shots changing out.
Click here or
on the Illusions link in the top left navigation bar, to see the individual