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Dwayna Causes an International Incident
or How I blew it for Everyone

In January of 1995 I took a trip to London with my daughter and my best friend. While there we visited the British Museum. We walked into one gallery and there it was THE ROSETTA STONE. We approached slowly taking it all in. There right in front of us separated from us by a mere velvet rope, like the kind they use at Bank to keep all us cattle in lines. I reached out, half expecting for someone to stop me, but they didn't and I touched it right in the hieroglyph section at the top. I felt the etched out characters beneath my fingertips. It was incredible I actually touched the Rosetta Stone. Next my daughter and my friend touched it too. We took some pictures and stepped back a little. That's when I noticed one of those guided tour groups in the room. This particular group was made up entirely of Japanese tourists, about a dozen (every single one had a camera around his neck). Some were listening as the guide described the exhibit next to the Rosetta Stone. A few were looking about and I locked eyes with one young woman who was more interested in the Rosetta Stone than what the guide was showing them. I instinctively knew that being Japanese they would of course understand English. I don't know what came over me, but I said to her, "Go ahead and touch it, they don't mind." In two seconds flat the entire tour group minus the guide was suddenly glomming the Rosetta stone. The group descended upon it encircling it. I stood back and laughed. The guide stood motionless for a moment with her mouth gaping open, and in that split second a bevy of tea bag security guards reacted. It was obvious that their FUN-O-METER went off. They quickly and fussily broke up the glomming group, clucking and balking like a hens when the rooster enters their coop. My friend, my daughter, and I were of course entertained by this, the tour guide was aghast, and the members of the Japanese tour group appeared to be embarrassed. I saw a picture of the Rosetta stone in 2005 and sure enough it is now on display behind a Plexiglas wall so that no one can get near enough to touch it.